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21.Be Worldly



Family life is the fort of a man. Living in this fort, man fights with this world which is full of derives. A family life is an assembly for meeting up physical and worldly needs of some people. You can rely on three things the old wife, the old dog and the cash deposit. A man may be treated as successful if he has a home, a written book and a family. If you can meet up your family needs and can tolerate the bitter experiences with your power of tolerance and simplicity, when you can look at the world like a child, then you will find harmless wonders, delights and enthusiasms. A happy family life is full of laughter's and noise of the children. A house without flower plant can`t be imagined. A flower garden in a plot of land there can't be more tasteful matter than this. He is mentally wealthy whose garden is full of flowers and home is full of books. Heaven comes down to our cottage, when we ore united with love. A successful love is the heaven and the unsuccessful one is hell. Both the heaven and the hell exist in this world itself. When beneath a tree, a piece of bread in hand, a peg of wine and a book infront and the beloved singing beside in a solitude, is the heaven. Living at home is safe but living beneath a tree is delightful. Live in nature, family and society with enormous feelings, with the enormous happiness of men and women, with the weals and woes of different places and nations, with full of actions and depth and live loving the whole mankind. A good companion is better than a beautiful house. Spring makes a man emotional and outwardly. Rainy season makes him homebound. He has peace who has a roof on his head. Bed is the best shelter of happiness and centre of peace for a man. Homely peace is not lesser than that of heaven. A man can go far away, can live much comfortably but he must weep for his home. He who does not love his home, does not love his country as well. Win the hearts of everybody at home first and then behave well with others. If a man is happy at home, he can accept the world with double enthusiasm. An old companion is more necessary for a new house. Every home is like a woman, if not cared for regularly, becomes old. Woman looks beautiful when puts on a nice dress and a house when maintained properly. Home is the proper place for happiness, peace and recreation. Over all, a home should be neat, clean and well disciplined. A man  may be too poor but home is the best shelter for him. Home is the foundation of our society and the country. If we can't make our home easy, a prospect for welfare, sacrifice, then even by the  hundreds ways of income, we can't drive away our distress. Earn outside and save at home. Although you can be cruel outside but you are to keep your heart at your home. Learn outside and apply your knowledge at home. The communication between your outward and home life should not be disconnected at all. Family is the pillar of the society, the more the families will develop and be established, the more the society will develop and be firm. Be sympathetic to every member of the family should be the fast learning. Somebody demands and somebody fulfills is called a family. Relaxing at home is the hope of old age. A man leads his life on the axis of his home, a man spends all his money for his family, if he does not find happiness there, it is of no use to find out happiness elsewhere. Whether a king or a peasant, he is happy who finds happiness at his home. If there is love, no matter how beautiful is the house. Adjustment of mentalities and tastes are important. If a home is tied upon this bondage, it is a home, otherwise not. If your wife is not good, what you will do with a beautiful house? He who has no mother at home and wife is harsh spoken, it is better for him to live in jungle, because his home is worse than that. If you get a good wife, you are lucky. Because you can lead then a happy life. But if you get a bad wife, the country will gain, because you will be a philosopher then. If you don’t have a good shelter and a good wife, you can't enjoy any beauty or pleasure of the world. He who tells everything to his wife, knows a little. Weaknesses of a husband can never be concealed from his wife. Everybody wants to maintain his prestige infront of his wife, so there is no sin to tell a lie with your wife. A wife neglects his husband, if the husband is poor, disable, invalid, addicted, fool, careless, always follows his wife and hands over all his wealth to his wife. He who depends on his wife for everything cannot lead an independent life? Wife of a callous husband leads a life like a widow. A woman leaves a man due to apathetic, shame or weak character. A woman cannot tolerate negligence. A man with a weak personality, feeble and weak, can never be impressive to woman. An emperor is nothing but a husband to his wife. The wife who cannot treat his husband as the best man, cannot love his husband whole heartedly. So a husband should always maintain a good dress,  conduct and activities, he should overcome his weaknesses, be an ideal man. A husband should give an impression to his wife from the very beginning of marriage. You have so much right on your wife so on a scented flower which you smell and be happy, so live with her enjoying her beauty and company. You have no right to make her your maid servant or a house keeper. Have meals with your wife and dress up her as you dress up yourself. Don't beat her or use slang language with her and don't allow her to leave home except with you. A maid servant is controlled by beating, wife by sanctity and the neighbours by pointing out their faults. A house is available in a ready made state but a wife is to be made. If a husband is good and intelligent, he can make his wife according to his liking. A cornfield is spoiled by storms and a wife is spoiled by beating. A son is spoiled in the market and a wife is spoiled by free mixing. It is impossible to keep a woman under control. Marry and then you will see that she won't like your way of walking even. Love a woman and you will see that she will leave you after a few days. Remember that a wife will never be obedient to you but yourself is to be obedient to her. Before marriage be ready to fight with your wife thrice a day. There are three things with which you should fit yourself. These are, spectacles, shoe and wife. If you can't tie up your wife with a strong bondage of love, you can't keep her under your control. Women are obedient to the strong men, devoted to the powerful man and remains under control of an offensive man. An honest husband's power of observation is very strong. A man urge for a beautiful, wealthy and young woman. A wife should always remain well dressed and ornamented infront of her husband. She should express some appeal in her dressing. But she should dress up without any sign of extremity in it. Every wife wants to be liked by her husband. A man neglects a cheap woman. The husband who enters his wife's dressing room, is either a philosopher or a fool. A good husband neither goes to bed earlier nor gets up late. He who understands the reality of life, does not fall in distress in his old age. He is lucky, who has an honest wife. He will live long and pass his life in peace. A good wife and a sound health is the best wealth of a man. A pious wife is the most valuable asset of a husband. A husband is really lucky whose wife is sweet spoken, courteous and well wisher of her husband. A good wife is a piece of heaven. The more great a wife, the more filth of mind of her husband will be washed out. Honesty and dishonesty of a husband fully depend on her wife. An educated and loving wife can make her family a heaven and her husband heavenly. If you are an efficient sailor, you won't have to fear sink down. The root of good or bad depends on work and all the roots of our desires are inspired by our wives. If you have a good wife, you can face all your sorrows, failures and problems. Women are the root of all our progress or backwardness. A devoted wife loves her husband even more than her son. Not a man but a woman has responsibilities of formation. Women make home and they break it themselves. A housewife, in fact, make a sweet home. A wife can very easily keep her house and crops in order, cook tasty foods, run the family life in a discipline and economical way and to keep her body and dress nice and clean. A woman can be praised by many for her good cooking only. The ultimate expression of love of a woman is in her cooking. A newly married is very sweet, when old she becomes a bit sour and sweet thereafter a bit hot. A newly married wife remains silent to every question of her husband. And if she ever replies, it is not clear. On repeated questions by husband, she feels irritated. You will know your wife gradually day by day through her different action. That means, one day, you may clean your home and the other day, you may clean your husband’s back. One day she may polish your courtyard and some other day she may pour the sacred butter milk on the head on her husband, that means, you don’t know earlier what she will do latter on. A deer find out the trunk of a hard tree to sharpen its horns, it does not feel well to do such by a banana tree. Women always try to influence the unruly men by various tactics. If a husband is influenced by his wife from the very beginning, his wife has nothing to do for influencing her husband. A woman gives reasons by her tears and treats emotions as justice. A beautiful young wife is a living heaven. The main task of women are to please their husbands. A prostitute is used for enjoyment, a beloved for entertainment and a wife for producing children. A woman expects a child by whole of his consciousness. A man wants the four women in his four stages of life. Mother in childhood, wife in youth, daughter or daughter-in-law in the middle age and grand-daughter or grand daughter-in-law in old age are necessary. In this way a man's desire becomes fullfledged by women. Wives are beloved in the youth companion in the middle age and nurse in old age. Know this threes are quality of attendent. A wife is evaluated by her husband more by her honesty and courtesy than her beauty. A wife who is not so beautiful can make her husband successful by her honesty and good behaviours. On the other hand, a very beautiful wife can make her husband's life miserable by her suspicious mind, misbehaviours, harsh words, insulation and quarrelsome character. She is the ideal wife who always wish the best for her husband. An intelligent and honest wife always overwhelms her husband with her good behaviours. An honest wife is satisfied with a little expectation, not greedy, not lazy, pious, truthful, clean and charming. A wife behaves sometimes like a mother sometimes like a sister, sometimes like a girl friend and sometimes like a maid servant. If a poor, farthing less and ground bedded wife is loved by his husband, is a fortunate woman. Otherwise, her beauty or wealth are of no use. Minister like execution, servant like service, trust like husband, earth like forgiveness, mother like affection, beautiful women like lying, companion like humor, girl like be loving. A wife is to be like a goddess when she is outside. That is her conduct should be clear and controlled. In a temple or in a church, she should be regardful. A restless deer and a devoted housewife at home. A heroine in husband's bed. The women who cannot remain awakened before marriage, don’t want to go to sleep after marriage. Generally, women likes green mango, green chilly and strong husband. Unmarried like peacock, tiger like lover, donkey like married person. To marry once is a duty, to marry twice is foolish and to marry thrice is madness. Distress of a wife without husband, cannot be imagined. Many married women are not happy. But that is not so intolerable like loneliness. There are problems in a married life but there is no happiness in the lives of bachelors or maids. A married man cannot take up a great work. Everyday he is to remain busy to earn his bread. Every family is to arrange for its food, clothing's and shelter. Marriage is the beginning of a family life. Don't marry before you can maintain the expenses of your wife and children. The first condition for marriage is the financial solvency. You can be parants when you can fulfill the fundamental rights of your children. A soldier cannot fight with too much load on his shoulder, a pedestrian cannot walk with too much load. In Europe, a man does not easily agree to take the financial responsibilities of his married life. A woman should try to marry as soon as possible and a man should do it as late as possible. An unmarried man or woman and a widow or widower should marry if he or she cannot control his or her passions. Because it is better to marry than to burn oneself. The bachelors or maids are compelled to remain the same position due to various reasons. To remain bachelor or maid for a long time, is a symbol of disease. Not for others, but for our satisfaction we marry. The most essential requirements cannot be fulfilled if a man or woman marry later, problems of health, longevity and pleasure arise due to overage. Perseverance, patience and sacrifice required to grow up children, is possible for a young man or woman only. In the  middle and old ages, a person may not be disgusted towards his or her life, but in these ages, tiredness, negligence and disinterest to all is created. An aged woman is neither a good wife nor a good mother. The main goal of a conjugal life is to satisfy sexual needs and to produce children, that is to maintain heredity. In this world a son is the most  important source of aspirations of a father. Due to childlessness, happiness, ambitious, interest for jobs and desires for material gains are discouraged to a great extent. Due to this along with a person, the development of a society and a state are also hampered. Love grows even without a physical relation and that love also lasts for long. A person may remain like married even before marriage. Against, a person may remain like an unmarried one, after marriage. Many man and women of this world, are passing their days likewise. If a husband is rewarded for a good deed, then her wife should get half of it as an encourager. A family life starts when a young falls in love with a young lady. Love grows between two persons and they produce a third life. Here lies the root of a life, here starts the sense of responsibility towards society. The girl whom you will find beautiful to whom your mind is intended, will give you happiness and prosperity if you marry her. You should not marry a girl for whom such reactions are not created within yourself. Make relation with her who loves you, not with her whom you love. It is better to marry a girl whom you love, than to marry a girl who loves you. It is easy for a lover to sacrifice his life for his beloved but it is not so easy to run conjugal life with her. A flower is most beautiful in the garden itself. When flowers are plucked and a garland is made, not only it lose its beauty but its fragrance also is lost to a great extent. If a man really loves a woman he should not marry her. Because, marriage is the grave of love. To mix up pre-marriage and after marriage loves is a laughing matter. To marry to deepen the pre marriage love is like gamble to become rich. Love is sunrise and marriage is sunset. If you love a girl and want to keep the love alive, don't marry that girl. Although the ultimate goal of love in marriage but marriage fades it. After marriage, romantic love is lost by physical affairs. So long the physical attractions and desires last, conjugal love also last upto that. The girl who is a good house keeper does not get a good home and she does not get a good husband who is very beautiful. Too much cleaver starves and too beautiful can't lead a happy conjugal life. It is better to perform matrimonial affairs between the man and woman who are of the same status. An unobedient daughter becomes a wife, out of control. If you want a good wife, then don't marry a highly educated woman. The girl who is not thirsty of knowledge, is a good lover. To marry and to be a mother, is the ultimate goal of a less educated girl. So, she gives much importance to her conjugal life and take it as her normal life. Marry a pious woman.  She will be the root of your success. Use ghee according to the food and select your son-in-law according to your daughter. Regarding marriage, consider family status, beauty and piousness of a bride. If you want a good wife, marry a girl who is very simple. Who is mediocre in beauty as well as in intelligence. The woman who is too beautiful or too qualified are never a good wife. Collect, wife and cow from your own village. While selecting a bridegroom, note that the bridegroom does not cross his family by his personal reputation and his wife by physical beauty. An honest man and hearty husband is needed for a wife to give birth to a good child. As we try to find out our mother, sister and friends within our wives, wives also try to find out their father and brothers within their husbands. Unhappiness in a conjugal life arises due to lack of friendship and not due to lack of love. Before marriage, don't be convinced by the outwardly beauty but try to find out inner beauty. After marriage mother-in-law quarrels with daughter-in-law, so, it is better that mother-in-law chooses her daughter-in-law. Unsatisfied women hanker after luxury. She who loves her husband, is satisfied with even a piece of bread. A married life becomes peaceful, when any of the party don't expect any extra gain out of it. In the male dominated society, a woman is suppressed as soon as she is married- the custom is that wife should be younger in age, shorter in height and less educated that her husband. This custom is maintained so that a wife always remains below her husband in personality, intelligence and ability. So, to make the women independent, traditional customs of marriage must be changed. Nature has become upset down due to the male dominated society. A wife who has no freedom in her husband's hose, suffers a lot. She is to lead life like a beast. To live by flattering everybody including husband, is very troublesome. Customs of a land and a society is mainly responsible for this. The carriage which is having a bigger (husband) and a smaller (wife), wheel cannot run far but rotates in one place (home). If there is no sin to convert a woman with normal intelligence and sense of feelings into a beast or a lifeless material for serving others' purposes and if there is no sin in it, then there is no sin in killing a man as well. What is the use showing heroism with your wife? If you hurt her, yourself will also be hurt at the same time. Marriage is a sound, nice and well controlled process. There is no other way to maintain human civilization without marriage life. Marriage is the co-existence of the two persons having the opposite nervous systems. Women are like corn field and men are seeds and with the co-ordinated process of field and seeds, all creatures are borne. Men and woman mix up for reproduction. There nobody is slave but friend of each other and are to work with hand to hand. Although a wife looks after her husband only still look after her. This give and take between husband and wife, is keeping the existence of human race in the world. Allah has made a distance between man and woman. This distance becomes closer by service, forgiveness, courage, beauty and welfare. In this way, by some limited efforts, an unlimited goal is achieved. A woman sells her independence to a home. Although everybody knows that a home is not the whole world. A home is covered place for relax and doing personal necessary jobs. But a man could not make it alone, the man-led society has made it. Marriage can be called a gambling where men bets for his independence and woman bets for her happiness. A promise to accept each others outrage is called marriage. A man marries to make a conjugal life, to satisfy his passions, to create manpower and to maintain heredity and to be a father. A woman marries to gets new name, address and guardian and for her financial and social security. A man marries as he is tired and a woman marries as she is curious. Woman weep before marriage and men after marriage. After marriage, a husband gets a tiny empire and a wife gets a loving director. The custom of conjugal sexual practice controls the sexual conduct of men and women and hinders them from free sex and scandals. A family life bonds a group of people by love, affection and sense of duty. Marriage is the proper way of reproduction and maintaining sanctity of sex organs. Domestic Science discusses about home, clothing's, child care, food etc. The bondage of community or nationality is irrespective of intra matrimonial  relations, whereas a race grows out of inter matrimonial relations. Some notions and emotions of people are expressed by the customs of the families. For example, way of living, discipline, language, family, religion, properties, domestic life and architecture etc. A policy of equality is to be maintained in family life. Marriage is performed on the  basis of convenience and necessity. A conjugal life lasts according to the willingness or unwillingness of husband and wife. Marriage gives stability of a man and establishment to a woman. Increases husband`s liabilities and wife`s value. That value is not a wife's own. That in reflected like powder on the face and polish on the nails. Marriage means to divide your rights and to multiply your duties into two. Marriage is a social custom to lead two persons of opposite sex to the same path and to continue the flow of human race. Those who eat in hotels, sleep in prayer halls, enjoys in entertainment centres, go on trip frequently, pass their illness in hospital, they may be independent but unfortunate. Husband and wife are each other's companion. Preparation of food, maintenance of family and bringing up of children should be jointly carried out by a couple. As a wife should pay respect to her husband, a husband should also have regard for his wife. A family and all its members are the source of happiness or unhappiness of each member of the family. It is easy to discontinue a conjugal life but hard to build and continue it. If the normal flow of a conjugal life is disturbed once, the previous flow normally does not restore. It is very hard for every man and woman to act in the roles of  a husband or a wife. In the race of conjugal life, both a husband and a wife secure the last position. And they are to accept the consolation prize that children are the ultimate success of a conjugal life. After a few days of marriage couples start passing their lives with the consolation of affection towards their children. Marriage is monotheism and choice is polytheism. Theologies of the two are quite opposite. The definition of marriage itself is to finish up insanity forever. All the quarrels, difference of opinions, arguments etc. are melted in the bed. Conjugal life is such that nobody of the same house can understand the fulfillments or disappointments of a couple. Probably, the relation between a couple which can be felt outwardly, is like a iceberg outwardly seen only a little portion of it and the left will always remain under water. The real truth of life is that no couple is happy but act like happy. Conjugal happiness can be attained by mutual understanding, sympathy and patience. There should be some gap in conjugal relation, otherwise it may become monotonous. Conjugal conflicts can be avoided like the driver of two vehicle running through a narrow bridge. People forget that conjugal life is an art and everyday it is to be discovered and created. There are many interesting things in ordinary matters, if we can enjoy it. He who cannot enjoy the tiny matter of daily life due to his egoism, is as painful as a library without books and magazines containing light and entertaining matters. Most of the conjugal lives become rhythmless due to monotony. An intelligent and smart husband can make it happy, colourful, deserving and attractive. We won't be subject to conjugal monotony and fatigue, if we can make our everyday full of actions, colours, novelty, varieties and flavours. To attain this, we should have a deep sense of life, sense of humour and a deep love for life. Often due to some negligible matter, conjugal peace is hampered and sometimes separation occurs. Marriage means a permanent difference of opinion. If it is not there, the conjugal life will be like a curry without salt. A couple becomes well adjusted when there are many differences of opinions between husband and wife, except matters of principles as a dry land and water adjust themselves very easily. Due to suspicion and weakness of personality, the conjugal peace is greatly disturbed. Happiness does not enter into the house, where a couple quarrel everyday. Whispering of a wife is the most fatal weapon, made by devil to destroy a happy conjugal life. A quarrelsome wife makes her husband life miserable. A husband's life becomes miserable if his wife has unlimited demands. A conjugal life is cracked due to difference of opinion, conflict of personality illicit connection, lack of understanding, insolvency, long absence, addiction, mental agitation and excitement etc. His nights are happy but days are miserable, who marries with love but without money. If you marry an ordinary looking girl, she will be yours and if she is beautiful, you will be her. If a poor man marries a rich girl, he gets an administrator, not a wife. Don't neglect anything after you brought it to your house after an extensive choice, it may be a motorcar, furniture or your wife. A happy conjugal life is destroyed due to suspicion, distrust and regardlessness among a couple. Sometimes, the old woman of a house becomes the root of breach of peace of a conjugal life. Where there is a pond, there is pollution. Likewise, nobody can avoid a conjugal conflict. You must compromise with your partner. A long lasting dissatisfaction cracks a conjugal life. Wives complain that husbands promise before marriage to bring the moon from the sky. But after marriage can't even purchase a chicken from the market, keeping aside the question of presenting a necklace. Girls make a conjugal life as well as a whole family troublesome due to their inferiority complex. They make their husbands responsible for all of their defects and weakness and try to compensate it by misbehaviour. When a husband of two wives die, envy between the co-wives finish and they enjoy their lives. Human relations are brittle like glass, once broken an imperishable mark remains even if it is unified. Father-in-law’s house is best in the world. In this world, no human relations is without selfishness, may be the closest relation. A man suffers from continuous dissatisfaction of his wants in a due to his love, affection and illusion for it, so a family is like a jail, to some extent. The home, where there is no conjugal peace, is like a jail. The house where a security guard is more powerful than a loving one, is nothing but a jail. Many people pass their conjugal lives somehow such they can leave the world towards hareafter is their moto. Peace of a conjugal life is hampered due to suspicion and weakness of personality. In this world, three things are liked by all but not understood, those are painting, music and woman. If a husband does not dominate his wife, the wife will start dominating her husband. Domination by a weak party is terrible. Those who cannot accept the tiny false matters of the family, create breach of peace over there. Exchange of love and affection is the foundation of peace in a family life. Happiness lies in the good relation between a couple. Although a wife is mainly responsible to make a home full of pleasure but co-operation between husband and wife is essential to reach this goal. Heads of the families are to sacrifice maximum in a family life. A family life can be made nice and happy by mutual efforts, concentration, cooperation, sympathy and regardfulness of a husband and a wife. A conjugal life becomes happy by virtue of a wife, if she have a virtuous husband. He is happy and lucky, who has no conjugal complication. Conjugal happiness depends on mutual trust and love. He is really happy, who is happy in his conjugal life. He who is not happy in his conjugal life, cannot be happy even by many other success in his life. He who is happy in his conjugal life, not need to run after some other happiness. A husband should pretend to be deaf and a wife to be blind for the sake of conjugal peace. Keep your eyes open before marriage and keep it partially closed after marriage. The real love game starts at the matured stage of a family when it becomes larger. With the enlargement of a family, a couple go out of the outward life, as such, when a couple becomes old, solitude of their family life becomes greater and the couple become closer to each other. Conjugal life does not run with only physical relation between a couple. Adjustment of mentality and taste is the prime factor. Love, marriage and conjugal life are all illusions. Relation between a husband and a wife is not like a master and a servant. A conjgual life becomes happy only when the couples beocmes the companion. A conjugal life is the examination hall for practising independence, because, a free man and a woman build them with their own efforts for their ownselves. Conduct a conjugal life in such a way, as you are cooking a small fish. All the happy families look alike but each unhappy family is unhappy in different ways. Family is the real identity of a person. Happiness of a conjugal life strengthens by the beauty of the wife and wealth of the husband. A conjugal life may end painfully due to maladjustment of their mentalities. Those who could be ideal husbands or wives, become disgusted and irritated due to maladjustment between their husbands or wives. An unhappy couple give birth to an unhappy child. The wife who is obedient to her husband, cannot give her husband any love. Due to this, some husbands find out love somewhere else. Conjugal love is a valuable asset for a society. A man may be a great revolutionary, still he wants peace and relaxation, after all. Only a husband can give such peace to his wife and a wife to her husband. Love of married life helps people to become a real man or woman. Love become real by friendship but love become mean and recline due to lust love. A conjugal life without love is adultery. Without mutual love and a feeling of integrity, no congugal life can be happy. The conjugal life, based on only sexual affairs, is totally like the ancient jungle life of mankind. Only love can make a married life sacred and that is the real conjugal life is that which is cleaned by love. The most essential phenomenon of human life is love. A happy conjugal life is fulfilled with sexual satisfaction, happiness, contentment, pleasure and exitement. Conjugal life is the actual life of a human being. Most of the wives are like slaves in the family, where there is no love. When a loving couple becomes closer, their hearts, consciousness and feelings become fulfilled wiht heavenly essence and romanticism. Then the life and the youth becomes a great reward of Allah. At that time it is felt that life, youth and love are never ending. First select the family and then select your bride. The purposes of marriage are sexual enjoyment,  giving birth to a child and to fillow religion. Love is the root of a marriage. Sexual relation or conjugal bondage become stronger when it is based mainly on mental attraction rather that physical attraction. A conjugal life cannot be happy only by fulfilling biological needs or exchanging of love by some feelings. The success of life are in its mutual adjustment of a couple regarding physical, mental, financial and religions matters and ways of thinking of each other.

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